Alright, I'm coming out of hibernation to post some photos from last weeks wedding. Wait, that statement is a little misleading because I don't have any pictures of the actual wedding, but I have pictures of people who attended the wedding and celebrated afterwards. I wish I'd stayed longer apparently all the good stuff happened after 9:30 pm. Damnit! I always miss the good stuff!

One quick disclaimer: The individuals featured in the following pictures are not paid actors (or America's Next Top Models) and they were fully advised of the possibility of appearing in this blog (yes, you were, just because you don't remember it doesn't mean it didn't happen)

Shearing

This weekend the weather cooperated and shearing went off without a hitch. I was there manning my battle station at the painting alley and wielding the camera. I also took on the role of the "pop/water nazi", much to the dismay of the younger shearing faction, as they were forced to drink all of their pop/water and not leave 1/2 full cans/bottles lying around. Some even had to share a bottle of water, that's right two people, one bottle, taking turns drinking. Gasp, what is this madness! Yeah, I'm a real grinch.
The kids (and DJ) did a great job this year and I don't think they were too put off by the refreshment situation. They're fast learners and good kids.

Here's the crew, ready for action!

Filling the alley

Mr. Ryan teaching the new recruit the how to mouth the sheep

Getting the summer hair cut

There's that sexy Circle P, What an awesome paint job, somebody really knows how to stick a brand on a sheep!

Healthy Eating? This one's for Kari

Since I quit smoking I've been trying to eat healthier. I read somewhere that exercising and eating right reinforces a healthy non-smoking lifestyle. I don't know alot about nutrition so I did what I always do when I don't know something- I googled it and found the new food pyramid (I don't know what happened to the old one). This new pyramid promotes eating whole grains and 5 servings of fruits and vegetables per day, 3 cups of milk and 5 1/2 oz of meat. I focused on the whole grains and fruits and veggies since they're my weak spot. I found that drinking V8 was the easiest way to get my daily veggie requirement. Around the same time Shredded Wheat cereal was on sale 4 for $10 (I know, what a bargain) so I stocked up- I mean it's whole grain and high in fiber so it's good for you, right? So there I was not smoking, jogging, getting my fiber and drinking my V8 and thinking that I'm prettying f -ing healthy. Then one morning I crapped little orange haystacks. Nice.

Sorry, I don't have any pictures of this...

Celebrating Imperfection, Because It's Fun

I have a ginormous brown mole on my stomach and my girls think that it looks creepy, they also wonder why my stomach looks smooshy like bread dough. Gee, I wonder how that could have happened.... Probably the same way my boobs went from cute and perky to streched-out-half-flat water balloons. Victoria's Secret has yet to invent a perfect fit for this mess so I usually just roll them up and poke them into whatever. Except a night, I let them free so they can flop under my armpits. I wouldn't mind having surgery just to reinflat them. Maybe I could have my nipples replaced with valve stems and when they get a little low I could run down to the Farmers Union, check the pressure and get some air.

I've got bunions too, and they aren't very sexy either, actually, my feet are pretty nasty with boney hammer-time toes, corns and high arches. I caught one foot in the lawn mower so it has additional troubles. Sometimes I laugh when I 'm painting my toe nails because it's rediculous to try and doll these babies up!

I'm super clumsy/accident prone and I have scars to prove it. I fell down alot as a kid but I'm getting more coordinated because now when I trip I kinda scrabble around a bit but I catch myself before I hit the ground. I could never play sports a kid, mostly because sports require some level of hand/eye coordination. Like, dribbling and walking, I usually dropped the ball on my foot. I never understood why in basketball they call a 'layup' easy. I couldn't figure out the proper rhythm of running, dribbling, jumping and throwing. I'd run, jump and I'd throw the ball up with all my might and as I was looking back to see if it went in the basket I'd run like a flayling spaz into the wall. FYI it never went in, it just shot straight up in the air and back down.

I also have this hair growing out of my chin that needs plucked every two weeks. Its a sneaky little bastard because I can't see it in the mirror so I have to feel for it and one day, nothing, and the next day, bam!, it's a 1/4 of a inch long! I suspect that it may have been comunicating with the hair in my nose because I noticed the other day I had visible nose hair! I didn't even have to tip my head back in front of the bathroom mirror to see it. It was just there in plain sight. Which reminds me, I would not recommed that anyone pluck the hair out of their nose because, wow, it hurts like a motherfucker. It'll make you cry, it really, really hurts. It's like removing a fish hook, there's something on the root of that hair that's attached to something.
We all have imperfections (I've got a lot more than this) and I think it's great and funny.

100 days ago...

I quit smoking. I don't know whether it was the anti-smoking propaganda or whether it was waking up on New Years day with my head throbbing like a sick bird's ass, raw aching lungs, a dry mouth and chapped lips, a thirst that 50 gallons of Miles City tap water and super sized fountain pop couldn't quench, a ravenous hunger for anything fried and greasy, blurred vision, and a Don King hairdo. (Mr. Ryan must have woke up blind) Anyway, whatever the reason I started quitting that day.

It's all because of yarrow

that I'm here, thanks, Mary. I've been an active blog 'lurker' for quite some time now, thanks to Eric and Anne and their birthing blog, what a way to get people hooked! From then on I added blogs to my usual morning web checks: Yahoomail, Billings Gazette, Sevenson and Son's, MSN and Autumn Twitchell's smugmug. My fellow lurkers (you know who you are, but don't worry I won't mention any names) have been privately discussing the Jordan blogging phenomenom, wondering how these people managed have so many interesting things to say. I was waiting for my life to become interesting before trying to blog but then came the yarrow incident. How could I not speak up on behalf of all disabled gardeners and say, "Damn it!" My research has proven it may be the only 'flower' with the potential to respond well to my bad management! I have this ginormous bag of seeds and now I find out that it's nothing more than a fuzzy floral weed with a big name and I suppose there's something wrong with the decorative bindweed weaving its way up the chain link fence too.... da, na, na, na, Warning to all garden snobs, avoid the southside of Jordan, something terrible, something evil is growing there....to be continued...